Several dishes of pizza, air, potatoes and muffins - I’m still tasting every bit of the nostalgia; in every fleeting touch, every fleeting memory, and every fleeting feeling. I’m nothing short of breadth, but am assured that I’m fully hallucinating of facts that I don’t own. Confused, confused, this is how the mind works when good morning is good night…
finally, i’ve finished this book. during the course of my reading this great work of art is a prolonged feeling of boredom and nostalgia. nostalgia towards things i know i have never felt, and yet i guess i’m feeling with the narrator of the story. kazuo ishiguro is a great writer (this comment by the way is the product of a 2-week long reading of his booker prize winning work), he manages to share with his readers the sentiments and the heartaches of his character. written in a very smooth English, this book is sure to be a word-treasure chest for people who love to embellish their everyday with highfalutin words, and will be a jewel to every book lover who has the gift of insight.
the book is aptly titled as this is spotlighted on the last pages of the novel. truly, it is the "evening" that most of the people look forward to, as the book declares (and i am not referring to the literal evening, here. i guess i need not say this). it could either be the epitome of all the hard works or the quagmire of all your let-downs. and yet, for most of the people, it might as well be a melting pot of both.
it’s nice to just sit back, place your feet on the top of the table. think. realize. reconcile.
as a last note: what do you think the remains of your day will be? just something to think about.
i never thought a Jack Black film would be so enriched with values. hehehe… because, honestly, i’m way too pissed on the characteristic approach his characters usually take. but i guess his character in "Envy" is still such, yet the movie itself is brilliant in the message it contains. given such a title, it is quite expected what the movie would be about. i would not be giving a summary/synopsis of the movie here - try watching it instead.
it’s quite daunting that sometimes a "simple" concept such as friendship is not being given enough light in movies. well, "Envy" just did blasted enough light on that matter. there’s is nothing more fulfilling than knowing that you’re friends accept you as you are, and are all willing to grow with you.
i had this friend once whom i guess i "loved". hehehe…. we used to grow together. share weird thoughts. define weirder ideas. and suddenly we split. just that. maybe we learned to grow apart. to become independent of each other. to be back to what we are before. but i’m saying this to myself, "no regrets, no matter what. it would be the times we shared that would matter anyway."
i thought i was losing my grip on books. i planned to quit reading novels/fiction for a while just for the heck of it. but as i sit here in front of the computer, trying to configure the coming year - as if this is possible - i realized, that why should i? for a change? but no. i wouldn’t be needing any changes. resolutions most of the times are just empty promises you make to yourself in order to have some solid ground to stand on. that you’re for the better. that you are progressing. i did that for the past 6 years…and i am still me.
i’ll still be loving the same food.
i’ll still be talking to the same set of friends.
i’ll still be seeking out for new friends.
i’ll still be dreaming about the same person (or set of persons and things…).
i’ll still read novels.
i’ll still cram.
i’ll still live.
well maybe yosi + calamares ulo + sisig + ginger ale + popcorn + mineral water for dinner made me sick.
i spent the entire day yesterday lying in bed, thinking of things that i really love, tasks that i can’t wait to do, and people i cant wait to see. well, i bet that was just part of the part hallucinations that i had while succumbing to the pain my sickness has brought me.
now, i guess i’m already feeling well. it’s time to do the tasks i can’t wait to do…
there’s has never been more heavenly than having your friends with you, while you share the moments of the night drinking, smoking and talking about each other’s idiosyncrasies…trying to resolve each one’s problems…trying to sort out your long list of things to-do…
we did just that. the cElL group on Cafe Havana.
"i’m infatuated. very much infatuated."
it sounds funny to hear it from a guy. or maybe i’m just too punch-drunk with pop songs by those little skimpy outfit-donning female artists that sing their lungs out about infatuation that i’m feeling way off whenever i’m hearing myself say this. but i bet it’s true. i’m willing to dig in on anything just to prove that this is what i am right now.
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that’s just a starter.
i’ve always been a victim of inequality. much as i’ve been a culprit for some inequalities. it makes me think that life is really unfair. i mean there’s no sense if you put equality first above things. consider a rich man’s son who spends his life on vices and compare it to a poor fatherless man who steals for a f**king living. consider that they die on the same day. the rich man’s son had a heart attack straight to hell. the poor fatherless man was shot in the head by a policeman who got pissed off chasing him around the shanties. for sure this poor man will also go straight to hell.
and here comes the inequality. both will share the worst pains in hell while one of them had his best time on earth and the other also living in his worst…
…and the thinking part begins.
is eating. nothing beats a bountiful feast of meat, spices, and sweets: the fear of someone might get his/her hypertension in action, the desperation of will for wanting to try each of every food on the table, and the success of having a tummy overload.
so when the clock strikes 12 tonight, i know i’d be more than happy to perform this chore…
when can quitting be heroic?
it’s pretty whimsical to be making my first web log very few days before christmas. i’m feeling invigorated by what many people call the christmas spirit: the petty caroling of the petty children, the confused dizzying christmas lights, the dwarfing christmas tree, and the dream of a christmas wish. being pushed by a special occasion for you to feel some emotion is queer enough. and trying to voice out what you really want is something else. there are no thin lines. only blurry regions where you can’t really decide on what you really are feeling.
IT is frightening to be found wanting. it makes you want to quit.
quit on what? on wanting? a favorite writer of mine once wrote that quitting is nothing different from choosing. it’s choosing not to do something. not to do it for life. not forgetting it, but rather allotting a little more space in you for the possibility of being raw. of being new. of being the "BE".
